It's amazing how life takes you to so many places you never imagined you'd be...a lot of times people mean that in the way that they've traveled to these far off places and done these crazy ass things, and to be honest I have traveled to some amazing places and done some things I never thought I would. I've had a dance off on an enormous rubics cube in Ibiza, I lived in London and met inspiring people and saw some of the most beautiful sites in Scotland and Paris. I was in Ireland and marched in Dublin's St. Patrick's Day Parade. I am fortunate to have traveled and experienced a lot of amazing things. The thing that people don't tell you, especially these days, is when you graduate high school or college (especially college) or grad school or whatever have you, this world is different. You grow up hearing you can do whatever you want...the question is what do you want??? A lot of girls, including a lot of my friends, think having a family and being a stay at home mother or working in a non prof or being an event planner or in HR or public relations is what they want. Fair enough. Me too. When I graduated college I "knew" my place was in NYC. Moved there, got a job, hated my job, pretended to love my job, got depressed, and moved home to Delaware. I cried the day I left NYC, thinking I was a failure. My best friend and roommate told me I was giving up. Whether for personal reasons or true belief she thought I had given up on my "dreams". So I moved home to Delaware. I looked for tons of marketing jobs in the massive surrounding area, including Philadelphia, with no luck. I found a waitressing position at a local bar and was hired close to immediately. It is in fact almost three years to the day I started. I remember getting ready for my first day of training and almost crying...What had I spent four years studying an industry I loved for? Why wasn't I good enough to get a job I loved in that field in the city I loved (NYC)? How could I, a girl who had spent her entire life over-achieving, fail at "life"??? So I started my job at the bar. Everyone was very nice. My first day wasn't awful, although it was still filled with the same first day jitters and meeting new people awkwardness that exists at every first day of ANY job has.
Let's flash forward three years later. I've been in charge of the promotions for an affluent alcoholic beer company in Delaware, got promoted to a Sales Representative, quit (because the new forced promotion just wasn't for me, and god bless that company because we both knew that outcome and they wanted me to stay on so bad they just went with it) and felt like I was back at square one. I kept in touch with and hung out with a ton of people from the same bar my first job upon moving home came from and picked up a few more shifts. I was nothing less than delighted to see my old regulars. In fact I was giddy. I got to be a part of people's lives where they are having fun. I started developing my role at a hair salon where I had been bookkeeping since I arrived back to Delaware. Turns out, the two owners who are inspiring, smart and have amazing life stories (and lessons) welcomed my proposal of an expanded role with opened arms. My best friend who I met at the same college who's student loans I probably won't be done paying off until 40 mind you, called me one day with an opportunity to join her company with a growing clothing line her wholsesaler had retained as a consultant at huge trade markets with thousands of buyers. I coach volleyball for the same high school I graduated from, in the same role my mother had. I coach a club team where my favorite coach of all time has not only become my mentor but my good friend. The people I have met and am still meeting through these experiences are great (although not all). From each one of them I learn. I learn more about me. Who I want to be, and what about me I will never change. I'm lucky to have family and friends filled to the brim with people that will always support me. I'm lucky to have best friends. A few are from grade school, a hand full from high school, some from college and a few I've had the good fortune of stumbling upon along the way. The point is, my plan never happened. It never even came close to happening! But I wasn't rigid. i went with what I felt was right.
I joke all of the time that my profession now is being a gypsy. Yes, I have three jobs, and no, I don't have a clear plan in sight. But look how well that turned out before.
My whole life I can always remember thinking "Well, when..." Well, when I graduate high school and move to the beach I'll figure out exactly what I want to do. Well, when I get the internship of my dreams (which I can say I've had two (thank you Philadelphia Eagles and Target) I'll figure out what exactly I want to do. Well, when I move to NYC I'll be happy because that's where I belong and I'll have a job I love.
When I moved home my "well, when's" turned into "oh my fucking god i'm moving in my parents' basement again... i'm a huge fucking failure". And guess what! I wasn't. I was figuring it all out and it's not pretty, neat or easy, but it happens.
This isn't to say that if you have a dream to move to NYC and work in the fashion industry and all of those things line up according to plan you shouldn't be happy...damn, I'd say BASK in that!!! WAY TO GO!!! Seriously! I wish that for everyone. But mostly what I wish for the high school girls I coach and the college interns I meet at markets is that they aren't scared to not follow a path that seems like it's what they should do. Should I be bartending with a $200,000 degree? Most would so no (okay so maybe most in this economy wouldn't say that, but think early 90's haha). You don't need to have a full time job. You need to have a job or jobs that pay your bills and you enjoy and you need to have room to grow, to learn, to experience. All of these things can happen in SO many ways and nobody will ever tell you that.
I don't think "well, when"anymore. Honestly, I haven't thought that for about two and a half years. My life is filled with a millions of balls in the air. Those balls keep me on my feet and they generate new ideas, new experiences, and new ways of learning...and I live in Delaware! Professors, parents, friends, counselors, coaches, take heed: it's not necessarily your title or the company or where you live, it's how you live and what you actually do that makes a difference. Happiness will never happen unless you lift today's standards of success and input your own. Personally, my standards of happiness are to be surrounded with people who believe in me, support me, and are positive (check), to find fulfillment in what I do (although to think this will happen 100% of the time is naive because if someone tells they are they are lying, (oh and check)), and to always be learning. I can honestly say in my positions in bookkeeping/marketing at the salon, bartending, wholesale consulting and coaching all of my standards are not only met but exceeded.
Don't let 'they' make your worth. That's your job.
A=A
Your happiness=Your own ideals/morals/standards
Please don't let anyone else create those for you...those are yours.
